Moving Back Home? 4 Things That’ll Empower You And Save Your Relationship With Your Parents
Feature Image: Kelsie Millet
The thought of moving back home and living with my mom used to make me cringe, because it reminded me of that late twenty-something-year-old guy who never moved out of the house—the guy whose ‘big move’ was just to his parent’s basement. One could think it’s a lack of ambition that results in one moving back to his or her parents house. But millennials are shifting the narrative on what it means to move back home. And for many, the reasons are admirable. Some choose to go back to school for further degrees and move back home to save money. Others are moving back home so that they can pay off their student loans. Some are even saving their cash just to spend a year traveling abroad.
More than ever before, millennials are playing it smart when it comes to their goals and finances. While previous generations may have seen moving back home as a step back, millennials view it as a step forward, or their only option to secure a happy and successful future. Can you blame them? With mounting student loan debt, higher cost of living and stagnant paychecks, it almost makes sense that millennials are consciously re-coupling with their parents at Chateau Casa. It can’t be all bad, right? Who doesn’t want home-cooked meals and their full closet space again? While there are certainly positives of moving back home, it’s important to remember that you’re under their rein—which means their house, their rules. No more friends over until the wee hours of the night and no more sleeping all weekend long.
For me, deciding to move to Mexico came with another effect - moving in with my mom and her newly wedded husband. It wasn’t a hard decision to make, as I was focused on the benefits of living abroad. I wasn’t going to let living with my mom stop me from learning Spanish, eating an avocado a day, or enjoying Mexican living. While this year and a half has been a life-changing experience, it has also had its share of laughter, tears, compromises, and disagreements. But through it all, I’ve developed a deeper, stronger bond with my mom and her husband. We share a more mature relationship—one that’s expanded from parental to more friendly, sisterly even. I also get the benefit of pooling our resources together and I’m truly learning something everyday. From kitchen hacks, to financial savings, to how to run a household—there are many advantages to living at home with your parents in your late 20s.
Thinking of moving back home? Here are 4 reasons it may be the best decision for you now.
1) You cultivate richer relationships and deeper bonds.
Living at home in a new country, I had a few growing pains. After living on my own for 7 years, it wasn’t easy at first. But whenever my mom and I had disagreements, we’d spent time apart and soon came back to apologize to each other—a mature resolution. Living back home has shown me that nothing is really worth fighting about and that I can learn a thing or two in letting things go and resetting the tone in a room.
2) You get to be a student again.
There is still so much to learn. Most parents have 20+ years experience over us. So to say that we can still learn from them is a no brainer. Think of them as your at-home professor. They can share with you stories of failure and success, lessons and triumphs. Our parents still have so much to teach us and when we live at home, we have the benefit of learning (almost) 24/7. From career changes to how to cook a Thanksgiving turkey, our parents have our backs and are thrilled when we ask for their help.
3) You learn how to manage a household.
After having several apartments on my own and with roommates, I thought I knew everything about how to keep my space tidy and organized. Before I moved in with my mom, she was happily living with her husband and two cats. When I arrived, I brought my two cats, as well. I learned so much about what it takes to actually run a household, and this was beyond just cooking and cleaning. It was knowing what to buy at the store for everyone, thinking about us as a family, and not skimping on the chores. Over the years while growing up, my mom has made it all look so easy. Living with her again taught me just how much work goes into running a household. Being home, I am more than happy to help.
4. You’ll have an at-home accountability partner.
Ever feel like sharing your goals supports you in accomplishing them? It’s true that by sharing your goals and desires, you not only put that energy into the Universe, but you also allow someone to witness you and ultimately support you in accomplishing them. Imagine turning dinners into fun, brainstorming sessions. Consider how your parents’ expertise could support your next passion project. Share your goals with your parents, and you’ll be surprised at how quickly you check off your goals and to-do lists.
Moving back home to live with my mom has been a blessing in disguise. Our relationship, now, is much closer. I continuously have someone who is willing to support me with the complexities of life, and I’ve learned so much about myself. Sure, it’s much easier to live alone or with a roommate—but then again, who doesn’t want a cheerleader, financial advisor, college professor, household expert, and kitchen whiz all in one? I’ve seen my mom in a whole new light because she no longer needs to parent me. She did that already, and now we get to be best friends and partners in crime. How’s that for a new mother-daughter dynamic? And while I may keep calling her ‘mom’ she truly is so much more.
What tips do you have for those living at home?